My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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