where am i from again
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
