Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
