I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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