She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
