why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
