i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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