he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She announced her abortion via fbk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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