im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
