ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
