big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
