We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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