not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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