youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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