Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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