Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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