i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
