he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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