so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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