I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
