There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
