Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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