eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.