I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.