If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
