so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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