im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
