dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize