No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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