I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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