found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They took my balls.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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