Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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