i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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