you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
