I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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