you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
