i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
