Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
