your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize