Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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