can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't want my vagina anymore.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
