This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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