So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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