Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
