My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
