I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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