I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
