we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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