Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.