White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
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Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it