may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor