yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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