i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
