he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
