Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
