That's intense
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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