Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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