Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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