I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
