did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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