I think i sorta joined a cult last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
worst night to have a conscience
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
