True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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